Perhaps being a workaholic was the better way of being prior to the Forum, as at least while at work others came first. During the day I truly was committed to service to others and fulfilled, then the night time came. At night I was left with moments of being with myself & I would quickly try to fill with various activities. I tried working out to playing piano for a few months at a time only to find myself bored and unfulfilled. “There must be something,” was always the question that lead to the next “something.”
I will never forget the first day in the Forum as I stood at the microphone proclaiming a desire to take time out for myself after being asked why we were here. On the stage stood an overly confident Dutch lady who I was convinced had nothing to offer me at that moment. After all, I completed college with honors, medical school, and a residency in one of the most competitive residencies in the world. I listened to people as they came to the microphone quite captivatingly, which should have been a clue something was happening inside of me as outside of work I typically didn’t hear a thing people said.
After the start of the afternoon session I settled in and began to count the hours, “Nine more to go and four wasted.”. This was always my mentality since my first thoughts as a child. Outside of my white coat, Life was always about me first, then whoever else I could manipulate second, the rest fell in line wherever. Sunday afternoon, around 4 pm, my life was over as I knew it because I got really present to “empty and meaningless.”
Out of that space of everything-nothing was created a life that was worth living on a level that I never dreamed possible. Most importantly, I got that my family was the most precious jewel in the world and spoke to my mother and sisters about who they were and what was their life like. My way of being with my family was transformed.
It was no longer me against them, or the rest of the world, it was me “with” them in the world.
Getting on the phone with all of my friends was the next task and catching those that I could at home if possible. The conversations all began the same way “I have been being such an arrogant person and I have been making you wrong for….and I apologize.” What happened every single time, with every single person, was magical. The first line out of my best friends mouth was, “what did you do with Will?”. A warm feeling overwhelmed me as I was present to a new possibility at the end of every call to complete with someone.
Being present with everyone in every moment since completing the curriculum is a golden opportunity to “listen for the gold,” re-create what’s shared, and then leave them in a world of possibility through the distinctions of the Landmark Forum. My patients are now heard on a level they’ve never experienced before and my practice is growing faster than I can train new providers. Now having completed the Communications Curriculum I am contribution to others through participating in the Landmark Assisting Program and will begin the Introductory Leadership Program in March 2012. What I ultimately “got” from my participation in this education is the power to create others in the world as the possibility that they are, and not the limitations, or reasons, that they exist in. I am an unstoppable force for transformation of the lives of others.